作出這個決定的原因是我一直對籃球有太高的要求，希望自己可以打得好，所以做成自己很重的心理壓力。這種壓力使我每逢周三便好有種心緒不寧的感覺，整個人很緊張，脾氣暴燥，原因只是晚上的一場球賽。
我嘗試過不少方法去減輕自己的壓力。我在家中的牆上貼上"If you try your best, leave the rest to God." 希望提醒自己不要過份認真。但不成功。
我嘗試過不斷去訓練自己，一天射500球，每天都在練習，希望自己會打得更好。但由於自己練習這麼多，反而做成更重的心理壓力。就像在對自己說："你練左咁多，你都唔打得好？咁你咪好廢？" 所以練得越多反而壓力越大，比賽時心理壓力大的話，表現就更難好。
有時候練習的確有幫助，比賽時力量和準星都好些。然而比賽的表現又有很多時取決於對手的打法，己隊的策略，所以個人的能力改善並不一定和表現成正比。所以我感覺是練習了也不代表會表現更好。
我也嘗試過因去了旅行而無法練習，到比賽時反而打得很好。當時的心理狀態是："我都無練過波，打得唔好係正路。"結果因為心理上的放鬆反而打得很好。
我這些年的爭扎，其實都是自己一個人在面對，因為家人不明白，在澳的朋友又不多，感覺挺孤單。曾經有一個好朋友一起打，本來挺開心，但他也因傷在一年前退休了。到底這種孤單感是來自我的抑鬱症，還是做成我有抑鬱症，也不可而知了。
當我寫了電郵通知隊友我退休的決定，大家都回覆了我。我看了也挺開心的，因為他們的回應全是正面的，而最重要的是我知道這些回應不是吹噓，也是他們的心底話。這兒也和大家分享一下我寫的"retirement letter" 和他們的回應：
Hi buddies,
Really great to have a win last night.
As I feel my age is getting me, I would like to retire from competitive sport and turn to running which is more a loner's sport that suits my age.
I guess it feels good to leave when you are not too bad yet but I'm sure I will miss out the brotherhood on court.
It is really great fun playing with you guys. Your attitude and skill inspires me. As a Chinese my inborn physical strength is too weak (even I tried to work on it) and can only do that much, thanks for bearing with all my mistakes and turnovers in all these years.
If in future, you need a sub player and don't mind my turnovers. I would be pleased to do.
See u next game. And sure wanna take a photo with all of you as a great memory!
Regards,
Henry
隊友的回應節錄：
It’s definitely been great fun playing with you and great to know such a top bloke.
Henry you are a superstar it has been awesome to play with you, we will miss your intensity and teamwork.
It has been a real pleasure playing basketball with you and good luck with the running. I am sure you will get a phone call next season to help us out.
Agh mate it’s a shame you gonna retire, I love playing alongside you.
What a gentleman you are Henry.
All class on and off the court
Don’t be a stranger
Good luck with the running
看見隊友的回應也有點感動，原因是畢竟自己也和他們一起4年了，這些年自己在籃球上的努力也不為外人知，能夠得到他們的認同，在老人聯賽由Div2 升到Div1 ，由經常有 turnover 的garbage player 到能在某一兩次球賽中影響賽果，成為有影響的球員，當中的辛酸也真不少。
人老要退休是個必然的事。我接受，我學習。將來會嘗試繼續跑步來保持身體健康，希望自己在澳洲的生活能繼續精彩。
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